Tashan review - If you don't want to read the full review. Scroll staright to the 'Rating' at the end of the review.

By Devansh Patel

After having scripted blockbuster films like 'Dhoom' and 'Dhoom2', you definitely think that the next product coming out from Vijay Krishna Acharya should be worth it's money in gold. But after having watched Tashan last week at a special preview screening, I was speechless. Why? Devansh Patel tells you what went horridly wrong or pleasantly right.

Let's get this straight. a Yash Raj Films production starring Akshay Kumar, the only lucky mascot of Bollywood, the ultra slim Kareena Kapoor, the multi talented Anil Kapoor and the fun loving Saif Ali Khan. Now after reading this, anybody and everybody would love to bank on Tashan. But the saying - Do not judge a book by it's cover, best describes Tashan.

The movie begins with Jimmy (Saif Ali Khan) who is shown in the film as a smart and a suave call centre excecutive, runs a part time English speaking class for the new entrants in the call centre. With such a good command over his language, every girl falls prey over his charm . One rainy afternoon, the wet and wild Kareena Kapoor (Pooja Singh) walks in his call centre for help, and who else but Jimmy comes to the rescue. Pooja wants Jimmy to teach English to her boss, Bhaiyaji, the dreaded killer (Anil Kapoor) who wants to learn the language before he meets his foreign deligates. So, after a lot of hard work, Bhaiyaji learns how to speak fluent Hinglish (mix of Hindi and English). He even goes to the extent of comparing his fluency over the language to that of George Bush. In this whole process, what Jimmy doesn't know is that Bhaiyaji is a cold blooded killer and Pooja works for him. One fine day, Pooja and Jimmy elope to get their hand on the 25 million pounds, the money which belonged to Bhaiyaji. So with the help of a local goon Bachchan Pande (Akshay Kumar) based in Haridwar, (Holy place in Uttarakhand, India) Bhaiyaji delves on the journey to acquire the cash from Pooja and Jimmy.

What confuses me is that whom should I feel sorry for after having seen 2008's worst film. The writer-director Vijay Krishna Acharya? the producer Yash Raj Films? or the entire cast? The movie byline reads - The style, the good luck, the formula. Seems like debutant director Vijay Krishna Acharya forgot to add all the three ingredients into his film and made a mockery out of it. Since we never doubt our Bollywood heroes for a moment, the film struggles to generate any suspense. Director Vijay Krishna Acharya tries to entice the audiences through the visuals and the slim bikini clad Kareena Kappor but fail to create a substantial script. The movie takes too much time for the introduction of characters, who act like cartoons and becomes quite sluggish at times. First half is nothing but that. The question I was asking myself after watching the first one hour was - Do I need pop-corn or a paracetamol?

The trailer of the movie gives an impression as if it's going to be an out-of-the-world kind of a movie but the harsh truth is that after scripting Dhoom and Dhoom 2, this should be called 'Doom'. For a movie to be a hit among the audiences, it needs to have some collective effort and something commendable. It does not necessarily have to be a film having glamorous girls and bicepped guys trying to flaunt their chiseled looks and giving it the name of "style".

In terms of acting, the less said the better. After doing some memorable roles in 'Namaste London', 'Heyy Babyy' and 'Bhool Bhulaiyaa', Akshay Kumar disappoints a big deal. He is a complete misfit in such roles. Well, all I can say is that his record of seven hits in a row ends with Tashan. Although, he started as an action hero, but now after creating a name for himself in substantial roles, he should avoid doing such films. I don't know when Saif Ali Khan is going to understand that being a cool dude isn't enough to be an actor. His over-acting is quite visible on screen. But the two surprises come in form of Kareena Kapoor and Anil Kapoor (the two are not related). Both are bearable for a change. But here's a free tip to Kareena - Girl, you seriously need to put some weight back.... in your acting. Ha! Ha!

To add more dissapointment, the film not only lacks in acting, scripting and direction but also falls flat in departments like editing which is not refined, choreography which is not at all impressive, the music which is just not hitting the right chord and the action which is silliness personified. Well, it's good to know that Yash Raj Films Tashan has joined the league of films such as Ram Gopal Varma Ki Aag, Shakalaka Boom Boom and Cash.

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Rating - Not applicable